I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
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