just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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