He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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