I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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