Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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