Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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