i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
