He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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