i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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