great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
