everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize