I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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