i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
