I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
