THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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