you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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