No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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