his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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