I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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