I think i sorta joined a cult last night
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
