super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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