I puked a lego.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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