then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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