he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
