forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
sick fucks of a feather flock together
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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