so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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