I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
