I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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