So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Two words: nipple clamps
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