I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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