Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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