this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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