You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
