Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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