How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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