I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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