can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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