exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize