Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
