I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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