Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
