If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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