i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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