pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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