Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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