arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
