Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
