i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
