ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Last time i carry you out of a forest
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
