Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
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I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
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An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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