Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
