What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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