Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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