Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It's never too late to be topless.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
