Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You are the jesus of drinking
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
