Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
