I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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