mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
