Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize