If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
